entertainment

Better In The Dark #139

 

Episode 139: TOM AND DERRICK VS. THE CHINESE SHERLOCK, THE DRUNK GURU, THE ACTION TROIKA, THE SIN EATER AND THE CGI’D LIZARD

It’s time for another Review Episode, where the Guys Outta Brooklyn take a look at a quintet of movies that range from the brand-extending Bourne Legacy to the brand expanding Expendables 2 and the brand imitating Hong Kong curio The Bullet Vanishes. Plus Tom’s Tales Of Working the Licensed Fiction Mines, Derrick’s research for a new Sinbad tale, and the man with the super-power of hair (Hi, Ian!). You know you don’t want to walk from the window to the wall without getting low, so get to clicking!

BETTER IN THE DARK
Two Guys Outta Brooklyn Talk Movies
DJ COMICS CAVALCADE
Silver Age Comics Through Modern Eyes
Join us now at www.earth-2.net!
Nocturne, The City That Lives By Night….needs a darker shade of protector
THE SHADOW LEGION http://welcometonocturne.blogspot.com/

Better In The Dark #131

 

 

Episode 131: TOM AND DERRICK VS. THE SAFE HOUSE, GRECIAN ARMORED ROSAMUND PIKE, THE PAST HIS PRIME MEDICAL GENIUS, THE INDIAN HOTEL, AND JOSS WHEDON

In this massive Review Episode, The Boys Outta Brooklyn discuss the movie everyone’s been waiting five years for…The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel!

Just kidding…we do cover that film, as well as others and the House Series Finale, but the bulk of over two hours of talk concerns the two films of Joss Whedon, Cabin In The Woods and The Avengers! And if that isn’t enough, there’s lots of writing talk and bitching about comics. It’s Shwarma-rific, so get to clicking!

BETTER IN THE DARK
Two Guys Outta Brooklyn Talk Movies
DJ COMICS CAVALCADE
Silver Age Comics Through Modern Eyes
Join us now at www.earth-2.net!
Nocturne, The City That Lives By Night….needs a darker shade of protector
THE SHADOW LEGION http://welcometonocturne.blogspot.com/

The Gong Show Movie

1980

Universal Pictures

Directed by Chuck Barris

Produced by Budd Granoff

Written by Chuck Barris and Robert Downey

 

Today our televisions are flooded with reality programming.  Programming that threatens the very fabric of American life and the sanctity of good Christian families.  The moral compass of our country has gone askew and it’s all because of reality television and it can be traced back to one television show: “The Gong Show”

Nah, not really.  I’m just funnin’.  But I started this review that way because the way that people talk about such reality shows such as the various “Real Housewives” or “Survivor” “American Idol” ”Jersey Shore” or “Basketball Wives” ruining television today is the same way they talked about “The Gong Show” back in the 1970’s.  Produced and hosted by Chuck Barris who already had a couple of game show hits with “The Newlywed Game” and “The Dating Game.”  “The Gong Show” was a talent show with amateur contestants performing in front of three celebrity judges.  If an act was really bad (and most of ‘em were) any one of the judges could hit a large gong with an equally large mallet.  Some of the acts were so bad that the celebrity judges would bang the gong together or even comically struggle with each other for the honor of gonging the act.  But if an act did manage to win, they were awarded the princely sum of $516.32.

“The Gong Show” at the height of its popularity was shown twice a day, five days a week and with good reason.  “The Gong Show” was outrageous, absurdist, downright surreal at times, hilarious most of the time and even when it wasn’t it still had you staring at the screen wondering if what you were seeing was actually happening.  “The Gong Show” was a half-hour where anything could happen. Cheap jokes.  Filthy language.  Jaye P. Morgan flashing her bare breasts ( an incident that got her fired).  Cute Transvestites (they were quite the novelty back in the 70’s) and perhaps the most infamous moment in the show’s history: two adolescent girls performing fellatio on popsicles:

As the host, Chuck Barris originally was very nervous and it showed.  But he quickly loosened up, wearing silly hats, clothes that looked as if he’d gotten them from the Salvation Army, using eccentric props and generally acting so goofy and off-the-wall that a lot of people watching at home thought Barris actually was drunk on stage.  But he was the perfect ringmaster for this insane circus that everybody participated in.  The studio audience was always loud and raucous and the celebrity guests threw all caution to the wind.  There were a whole bunch of celebrity judges, some very well known such as Bill Bixby, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Richard Dawson, David Letterman, Joan Rivers and Suzanne Somers.  Others were staples of the daytime TV game show circuit who made a pretty good living just appearing on game shows.  But the celebrity hosts that were the most popular were Jamie Farr, Arte Johnson and Jaye P. Morgan who was without a doubt the most risqué.  Her one-liners frequently had to be bleeped and she seemed incapable of speaking in anything but but sexual double-entendres.

Bu my favorite and the favorite of many was Gene Gene The Dancing Machine (Eugene Patton) who actually was a member of the stage crew.  Chuck Barris brought him out to dance during commercial breaks to entertain the audience.  Chuck liked him so much that he had him dance on air and from then on Gene Gene The Dancing Machine was a hit.  The “Gong Show” house band, Milton Delugg’s Band With a Thug would swing into Count Basie’s “Jumping At The Woodside” while Gene Gene enthusiastically danced around the stage, often joined by Chuck while all manner of junk was thrown onstage.  The celebrity judges and the audience even jumped up and danced.  In short, when Gene Gene The Dancing Machine came on, the joint went nuts:

Tied in popularity with Gene Gene The Dancing Machine was The Unknown Comic (Murray Langstrom) who performed with a paperbag over his head with holes for his eyes and mouth.  His hysteric, rapid fire delivery and sleazy jokes made him an immediate hit.  He would frequently call Chuck Barris up on stage to make him the butt of his jokes such as: “Hey, Chuckie baby, do you like sex?” “Sure.”  “Do you like traveling?” “Sure.” “Then why don’t you go take a fuckin’ hike?”

I realize this review is going into far more background than most of my reviews but I fairly comfortable in saying that most of you reading this have probably never heard of “The Gong Show” let alone seen an episode so I felt a little history was needed for you to understand why I was so delighted when during a free weekend of HBO I was able to see THE GONG SHOW MOVIE, a movie I haven’t seen in I don’t know how many years since it’s one of those movies that has never been available on VHS or DVD so the only way to see it is if you subscribe to one of those premium movie channels.

THE GONG SHOW MOVIE is a fictionalized week in the life of Chuck Barris as he struggles to balance leading a quiet life with his wife Red (Robin Altman, his real life wife at the time) with the zaniness of being the producer/host of the most popular show on daytime television.  It isn’t easy because everywhere he goes he’s recognized as “Chuckie Baby” and everybody wants to audition for him.  No matter what he’s doing and where he is.  His loyal secretary Mabel (Mabel King) begs him to get some proper rest.  The network executive Buddy Didlo (James B. Douglas) begs him to please tone down the vulgar wildness and out-of-hand risqué humor.

The movie has some of the wacky and downright perverse brilliance that made the show so enjoyable.  The movie has many scenes from the TV show intercut, including Chuck in auditions and acts that that were no doubt considered just too much for daytime.  The movie also has that breast baring incident, thank you Miss Jaye P. Morgan.

The acting is nothing to brag about but for me that just adds to the anarchistic spirit of “The Gong Show.” In this period we live in now, where the Cult of Celebrity is at its height, it’s refreshing to see a bunch of people who just want to have fun with whatever mediocre talent they have and look for no more than to make people laugh. I’ll take “The Gong Show” contestants over today’s crop of wanna-be’s who believe they should be famous just because they want to be famous.

So should you see THE GONG SHOW MOVIE?  As I said, unless you subscribe to HBO or Showtime or some other premier movie channel then it’s highly unlikely you’ll get a chance to.  And the movie would probably be only of interest to folks like me who remember the TV show.  I really hope it makes it way to DVD because it would make a perfect double-feature with the Chuck Barris biopic “Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind”  But if you do get a chance to see it, give it a try.  For me it’s a wonderful bit of nostalgia to indulge in.  THE GONG SHOW MOVIE is cheerful and anarchistic fun that wants to do nothing more than make you part of its kooky absurdity and that’s enough for me.

89 minutes

Rated R

True Legend

2010

Shanghai Film Group

Focus Features

Directed by Yuen Woo-ping

Produced by Bill Kong

Written by To Chi-long

If you’ve been hanging out here with me or over at Better In The Dark then you’ve probably heard me going on and on about how much I miss Manhattan’s 42end Street of the 70’s and 80’s.  I spent a lot of time and money seeing movies on that old street, lined on both sides with grindhouses.  If you had even as little as ten bucks in your kick you could spend the whole day going from one theater to the other watching double and even triple features.

One of these theaters was famous for showing nothing but a triple feature of Kung Fu/Martial Arts movies.  That’s right.  During the entire decade of the 80’s you could go see three Kick ‘Em Ups for three lousy dollars at this one theater.  I don’t believe it ever lost money as I recall it always being damn near packed.  A lot of those movies were horribly dubbed, poorly shot and looked as if they’d been made in somebody’s backyard but damn if they weren’t fun.  Sure, we still have Kung Fu/Martial Arts movies being made today but oftentimes to me they come off looking too slick, too polished, too expensive and too well made for me to fully enjoy them.  “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” and Jet Li’s “Hero” are good examples of what I’m talking about.  Oh, I liked them both a lot but they’re both too art-house and much too self-important for my taste

I guess that’s why I liked TRUE LEGEND so much.  Even though it is extremely well made, professionally polished, slick and a lot of money obviously spent on it, it was made in the true spirit of those Kung Fu epics of the 70’s and 80’s.  There’s just enough story to support us from one scene of spectacular asskicking to the next and it’s a wild story that goes from one twist to another with a gleeful abandon in a way that satisfied a long-time Kung Fu movie fan like me.

 

The movie opens with the great warrior General Su Can (Vincent Zhao) rescuing his prince from a forbidden mountain top fortress.  Any movie that opens with an insanely over-the-top battle that most movies would have ended with catches my attention right away.  In gratitude, the prince wants to give Su a governorship but Su turns it down.  Su persuades the prince to give the governorship to his step-brother Yuan (Andy On).  Su wants to go back home to be with his wife Ying (Zhou Xun) who is Yuan’s sister and open up his own martial arts school.

We jump five years ahead and now Su is a renowned Wu Shu master, raising a son, Feng with his wife and preparing to welcome Yuan home.  It’s a bloody homecoming indeed.  Yuan has hated Su for years because Su’s father killed Yuan’s biological father.  Su’s dad raised the boy and his sister as his own children but Yuan’s the kinda guy who holds grudges for a looooong time.  To ensure his revenge, Yuan has learned a forbidden evil martial arts technique called The Five Venom Fists and has had some really wicked, demonic looking armor grafted onto his arms, legs and torso.

Yuan’s kills Su’s dad, Su’s entire household of retainers, staff and family.  And that’s just before lunch.  Before he’s through he’s beaten the piss outta Su and thrown him down a waterfall.  Ying follows her husband and Yuan thinks they’re both dead.

Not so.  They’re found by a herbalist physician,  Sister Yu (Michelle Yeoh) who nurses them back to health.  Su is obsessed with once again fighting Yuan and getting revenge.  But his confidence is shattered.  He regains it when he encounters The Old Sage (The Great, Great Man Gordon Liu) and The God of Wu Shu (Jay Chou) and begs to be their disciple.  The Old Sage tells him that once he defeats The God of Wu Shu he can be their disciple.

Now that’s all the set-up I’m going to give you and actually it’s all you really need as from here on out the movie goes in a couple of directions that you really need to be ignorant on if you want to truly enjoy it.

The acting in this one is nothing to rave about but let’s be honest here; you don’t watch a Kung Fu/Martial Arts movie for Academy Award winning performances.  But it’s always good to see Gordon Liu in a Kung Fu movie where he belongs and Jay Chou reminds me here of why he was the only thing good about the recent “Green Hornet” movie.  Don’t look for Michelle Yeoh to bust any moves as her role is little more than an extended cameo.  As is David Carradine who appears in the last twenty minutes of the movie as the ruthless manager of a cadre of bloodthirsty fighters.   Su takes them on in a really outstanding fight scene where he demonstrates the Drunken Fist, battling his opponents on a platform over a pit of hungry tigers.

So should you see TRUE LEGEND?  If you like Kung Fu movies I recommend it highly.  I’ve read some reviews that claim the fight choreography is unmemorable and I have to wonder what movie those reviewers saw because I found the fight scenes in TRUE LEGEND exhilarating and exciting.  The only odd thing about the movie is that it goes on for another twenty minutes for the battle against Carradine’s fighters when there really is no need as the movie’s story has ended but hey, I’m not gonna argue against twenty more minutes of Kung Fu mayhem, especially when it’s this much fun.  TRUE LEGEND is no masterpiece of the genre but it’s a damn good movie and that’s all it has to be for me.  Highly recommended.

115 minutes

Rated