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The LEGO Movie

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2014

Warner Animation Group/Village Roadshow Pictures

Directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller

Produced by Dan Lin and Roy Lee

Screenplay by Phil Lord and Chris Miller

Story by Dan Hageman, Kevin Hageman, Phil Lord and Chris Miller

Based on Lego Construction Toys

The only people I can see having a problem with THE LEGO MOVIE are the same Batman fans who had a problem with the animated TV series “The Brave and The Bold.” Like THE LEGO MOVIE, “The Brave and The Bold” wasn’t afraid to poke fun at Batman and lighten up the character. Plenty of Batman fans absolutely detested “The Brave and The Bold” as they thought it was outright blasphemy that any trace of humor or comedy should or could be associated with Batman. Those are the ones who need to stay away from this movie, then. Me, I got a kick out of a Lego Batman who flies around in a Lego Batplane with his girlfriend composing heavy metal songs about what it’s like to be Lego Batman.

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Emmet Brickowski (Chris Pratt) is a construction worker living in Bricksburg, a Lego city that apparently is one huge construction project. He cheerfully follows the instructions for his daily routine as laid out in his instruction manual and goes to work singing the only song that exists in this world; “Everything Is Awesome!” I song I guarantee you will absolutely not be able to get out of your head once you’ve heard it.

One day at work Emmet finds a mysterious red brick that seems to speak to him and gives him visions. He passes out and upon awakening finds the brick attached to his back and himself in the custody of Bad Cop/Good Cop (Liam Neeson)  the chief henchman of Lord Business. (Will Ferrell) Lord Business has possession of The Kragle, a superweapon that he intends to use to freeze the various realms of The Lego Universe in place forever. The only thing that stands in his way is a prophecy that was spoken to him eight and a half years ago by the wizard Vitruvius (Morgan Freeman) that a person called The Special would use The Piece of Resistance to stop The Kragle.

Emmet is rescued by Wyldstyle (Elizabeth Banks) from the clutches of Bad Cop/Good Cop and takes him to Vitruvius who explains that there are Master Builders fighting against Lord Business, so named because they are capable of building anything they need out of Legos without need of an instruction manual, simply using their own creativity. Other Master Builders are Lego versions of characters we’re familiar with such as Batman (Will Arnett) Superman (Channing Tatum) Green Lantern (Jonah Hill) Wonder Woman (Cobie Smulders) Shaquille O’Neal (Shaquille O’Neal) Abraham Lincoln (Will Forte) William Shakespeare. (Jorma Taccone) And a few other characters we’re meeting for the first time such as Metal Beard the Pirate (Nick Offerman) Benny The Space Guy (Charlie Day) and Princess Unikitty (Alison Brie) a unicorn/anime kitten hybrid whose unrelenting optimism and upbeat cheerfulness borders on the frightening.

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Can Emmet overcome his lack of creativity and come up with a plan to unite The Master Builders into a team and defeat Lord Business? What is The Piece of Resistance and how exactly is it supposed to be used to stop The Kragle? And what is the secret of The Man Upstairs?

Finding out the answers to these questions is a delight for the audience to find out as the characters do and you’ll have a good time doing so. A movie like this walks a fine line in entertaining kids while keeping adults engaged and the adults at the showing of THE LEGO MOVIE Patricia and I attended sounded like they were having just as much fun as their kids. I know we were.

The more cynical among you would say that THE LEGO MOVIE is simply a 100 minute commercial to sell toys and you’d be wrong. The filmmakers have actually taken their time to tell a real story about creative freedom. Lord Business wants to lock everything into a set form, following a rigid set of rules and instructions while The Master Builders want everybody to be free to explore whatever it is they can dream up and create. But it doesn’t beat you over the head with that message and never forgets it’s supposed to be entertaining and funny as well. Chris Pratt is utterly charming as Emmet. Between this and “Guardians of The Galaxy” this is going to be a good year for him. Will Arnett walks off with the voice acting honors in this one as his Batman is so wickedly pompous. And Jonah Hill is right behind with his Green Lantern who so desperately wants to be Superman’s best bud and is constantly rebuffed by the Lego Man of Steel.

But it’s not really fair to single out one or two because everybody gets a chance to shine with their characters and get their funny lines or scenes as the rollercoaster plot takes us through various Lego worlds and to the final confrontation with Lord Business that definitely did not end the way I thought it would.

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So should you see THE LEGO MOVIE? By all means. It’s got terrifically colorful animation and and an outstanding voice cast. The story is simple enough for kids to grasp but witty enough that it doesn’t insult the intelligence of adults. This is the best kind of movie. One that does not want to do anything but entertain, make you feel good and send you home with a smile on your face.

Rated PG

100 minutes

The Assassination Bureau (LTD)

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THE ASSASSINATION BUREAU (LTD.)

Directed by Basil Deardon

Produced by Michael Relph

Screenplay by Michael Relph and Wolf Mankowitz

Based on the novel by Jack London and Robert L. Fish

 

Professional assassination is the highest form of public service.

Chiun, The Master of Sinanju

 

I start off this review with that quote because Chiun would understand the underlying philosophy that created the worldwide organization known as THE ASSASSINATION BUREAU (LTD.) being in the same business himself. As the Chairman of the organization, Ivan Dragomiloff (Oliver Reed) puts it; The Assassination Bureau fulfills a necessary evil. The Bureau assassinates those who are evil and who need assassination. They do not kill indiscriminately. They are not murderers. The Bureau assassinates those who only cause pain, misery and suffering. The Assassination Bureau (Ltd.) demands proof that the people who are contracted to be assassinated truly deserve assassination.

At least that was the dream of Ivan’s father. However, due through the corrupting influence of the Bureau’s Vice Chairman Lord Bostwick (Telly Savalas) on the other members of the Bureau, the purpose of The Assassination Bureau (Ltd.) is no longer what it once was. That is why Ivan accepts the commission of aspiring journalist and women’s right advocate Sonia Winter (Diana Rigg) to have him assassinated by his own organization. Ivan sees this as the ultimate test of his organization. If they kill him, so be it. He is the supreme assassin and if they kill him they he does not deserve to lead.  But this gives him the opportunity to remove the dead wood from his organization and test their loyalty. It’s kill or be kill, assassin against assassin. And in the middle is Sonia Winter who has no idea that she is feeding vital information to Lord Bostwick, who owns the newspaper she wants to write for as she is unaware of Lord Bostwick’s affiliation with the very organization she wishes to expose.

During the 1970’s there had to be somebody in charge of programming at ABC here in New York who loved THE ASSASSINATION BUREAU (LTD.) I have no idea who they were, if they were male or female but I thank God for them. Because they scheduled THE ASSASSINATION BUREAU (LTD.) on a regular basis on The ABC Sunday Night Movie which is where I first saw and fell in love with this movie. And every time it aired, I watched it. In fact, I turned my mother and father onto it as they simply had to see this movie because if I knew it was coming on Sunday night, I refused to leave the house for any reason at all.

In short, THE ASSASSINATION BUREAU (LTD). is a movie that I fell in love with the first time I saw it and one that I have recommended to everybody who will listen to me. It’s one of the best examples of a pure adventure movie that I’ve ever seen. It’s thrilling, it’s exciting, it’s heart-pounding and it’s funny. In fact, it’s wasn’t until I saw “Raiders of The Lost Ark” that I fell in love with a movie as much and yes, THE ASSASSINATION BUREAU (LTD.) is that good.

As Ivan Dragamiloff Oliver Reed creates a hero who is as charismatic, knowledgeable and brilliantly resourceful as Doc Savage, James Bond or Sherlock Holmes. This movie should be seen simply for seeing Oliver Reed in a heroic role. I love his performance for the same reason I love Richard Boone as Paladin in “Have Gun Will Travel.” These are actors who look more like the bad guys but are able to translate that into good guy roles of interesting dimensions. Oliver Reed’s Ivan Dragamiloff is so much fun to watch because I got the impression watching him in action in this movie because he seems to have so much fun playing a good bad guy.

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And this movie also has to be seen for Diana Rigg and Telly Savalas. THE ASSASSINATION BUREAU (LTD.)  had to be made around the same time as “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” which they also starred in and their chemistry is apparent in this movie as well. It’s nothing short of a delight to see them on screen together. In fact, everybody’s chemistry works well together. Oliver Reed and Diana Rigg also have a great time in their scenes together and it’s so much fun to watch them work.

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Okay, I’m not going to go on and on and on about it. THE ASSASSINATION BUREAU (LTD.) is one of my favorite movies and if you’ve been reading my reviews all this time then you either trust me or not. Watching it won’t cost you a thing because the movie in its entirety is available on YouTube and you can watch it at the link provided below this review.

The bottom line is this: if you trust my judgment at all when it comes to movies then watch THE ASSASSINATION BUREAU (LTD.) It’s one on the best movies I can recommend to anybody in terms of story, casing, acting and just sheer fun. It’s one of My Ten Favorite Movies Of All Time and I suspect that after you watch it, it’ll be one of yours.

Who Wears It Better? Tina Or Beyonce?

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Intermission

First of all, my thanks to those of you who emailed me and queried via Facebook and IM if everything was okay as you noticed that I appeared to have stopped writing reviews. It was most thoughtful of you and I don’t take your continued interest and support in my work for granted.

And no, I haven’t stopped writing movie reviews. Matter of fact, in the next couple of days you’ll probably be seeing reviews of two Elizabeth Taylor movies I’ve watched recently; REFLECTIONS IN A GOLDEN EYE and SUDDENLY, LAST SUMMER. Those are two movies that are so psychologically screwed up and downright horrifying (indeed, SUDDENLY, LAST SUMMER should be classified as a horror movie) that they should be seen just so that today’s movie fans should see the kind of films that were being done back in the 50’s and 60’s that people were going to see without blinking an eye. Movies like these would be considered ‘independent’ films now but back then, this was mainstream fare.

But enough of that. You’ve heard me go on about that subject enough. I’ve seen my share of movies this summer: PACIFIC RIM, which along with 2 GUNS were the best movies I’ve seen this whole summer. PAIN & GAIN which surprised me a lot considering Michael Bay directed it. It’s the best movie he ever done and has an Oscar worthy performance from Dwayne Johnson.

THE BIG WEDDING was a delightful family comedy/drama and TURBO was just charming enough not to be boring.

What else? Oh, THE BUTLER. That turned out to be a lot better than I thought it would be. Who knew that Oprah Winfrey could carry being the comedy relief in a movie so well?

For some reason something or somebody didn’t want me to see THE WOLVERINE as no matter when I planned to go see it, something would come up or I didn’t get to the theater on time for the designated showing. From what I’ve heard of it, I didn’t miss much.

Worst movies I saw this summer? No contest. THIS IS THE END and ELYSIUM. I wouldn’t sit through those movies again if you paid me.

So why didn’t you see reviews of those movies? Because I just simply decided to take a break from writing reviews is all. I found myself going to a movie and halfway through the flick I was starting to write the review in my head instead of just sitting back and enjoying the experience of watching a movie. And you can’t do both at the same time. Trust me. It takes away from the pure undiluted fun of watching a movie when you’re nitpicking at the performances and special effects and cinematography at the same time.

In short, it was time for me to step back and just enjoy going to the movies again as a movie lover. You will be seeing reviews of most of the movies I’ve named as I plan on seeing them again. Especially PACIFIC RIM and 2 GUNS which I’ll probably get on Blu-Ray the day they come out and yes, they are that good.

So the reviews will be coming again, never fear. I’ve put too much work into The Ferguson Theater to just abandon it. And I love writing reviews too much to stop doing that either. But you know what they say…a change is a good as a rest. And I’ve had a good one. Once again, thank you for your patience, your support and your time.

So that’s enough about me. What movies did you see and enjoy this summer?

 

And this is a picture of the first movie theater I can remember going to: The RKO Albee that used to be in downtown Brooklyn. Saw my first Kung Fu movie there: FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH.  

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Judging by the movies being shown I’d say this picture was taken during the early 1970′s. ’73 or ’74.

Classic Uhura Vs. New Uhura

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NEW UHURA

Richard Matheson (February 20, 1926-June 23, 2013)

In honor of the passing of Richard Matheson, a Great, Great Man…our examination of the filmic adaptations of one of his greatest works:

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The Guys Outta Brooklyn spend some time waiting for the end of the world by examining the classic Richard Matheson novella I Am Legend and its three adaptations. Each of these trio of films are very different in tone and approach, and Tom and Derrick will compare and contrast them all. From the black-as-pitch black and white melodrama of The Last Man on Earth to Charlton Heston kicking ass in The Omega Man to Will Smith and his dog trying to survive in I Am Legend, we cover them all! Plus some talk about mixing animation and live action, and Tom is vindicated when Derrick finally watches the Kristen Bell tragedy Pulse. Bare those teeth like you mean it–get to clicking!

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http://archive.org/download/Bitd38-theThreeFacesOfIAmLegend/BITD38.mp3

Shaft In Africa

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1973

MGM/Warner Bros.

Directed by John Guillermin

Produced by Roger Lewis

Written by Stirling Silliphant

Based on characters created by Ernest Tidyman

For a character who is usually described as being “the black James Bond” John Shaft actually didn’t do a lot of stuff we associate with James Bond. John Shaft in his first two movies is a private investigator working cases strictly in Harlem. He doesn’t uses gadgets, he doesn’t take on world conquering supervillians. He doesn’t report to or take orders from anybody. That all changed with SHAFT IN AFRICA which turns John Shaft into an international action hero and I think it was the smartest move the producers could have done. By taking Shaft out of his turf there’s an element of real suspense and danger in this movie. We’ve seen in two movies that Shaft is unbeatable when he’s in his element. But in this one he’s halfway around the world and there’s nobody he can call for help and he can’t even really trust the people who are supposed to be on his side.

SHAFT IN AFRICA starts off with a great sequence where Shaft is kidnapped by a gigantic African (Frank McRae) and his diminutive partner. Shaft is then subjected to a number of tests to determine if he can survive in the African desert. He passes the tests and only then does he meet the men who ordered his kidnapping: The Emir Ramila (Cy Grant) who rules over an East African country and Colonel Gonder (Marne Maitland) The two of them are working together to destroy a modern day slavery ring that recruits East Africans and illegally smuggles them into France. The East Africans are promised passports and wages enough to bring their families over but instead they find they’re working in sweatshops for barely enough money to buy food.

Shaft is naturally (and quite sensibly, I think) reluctant as he thinks he’s way too Americanized to pass for a native African. But once he lays his eyes on the woman who’s to tutor him in African ways he changes his mind. And I can’t blame him. If Vonetta McGee was tutoring me, I’d change my mind in a quick fast hurry my own self.

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Armed with James Bondian gadgets such as a camera hidden in his walking stick which is his only weapon and a tape recorder in his tribal bag, Shaft gets himself placed inside the pipeline, allowing himself to be recruited and working his way up until he reaches the man in charge. But it’s a bloody trail as Shaft has been fingered by someone inside the Emir’s organization and he has to continually defend himself against assassination attempts.

SHAFT IN AFRICA actually reminds me a lot of the novel version of the James Bond novel “Diamonds Are Forever.” In that one, Bond goes undercover and inserts himself into a pipeline of diamond smugglers. And like Shaft he makes his way up the pipeline by killing off the folks trying to kill him. And Bond has his Tiffany Case while Shaft has his Jazar (Neda Arneric) the nymphomanic girlfriend of the supervillain Amafi (Frank Finlay) who is the mastermind behind the slavery ring and a lot of other nastiness besides.

Richard Roundtree by now can slip into John Shaft’s skin with no problem but I like how he still brings new shadings and reveal of character. In Africa Shaft seems to become a new man. While he states flat out at the beginning of the job he’s doing it only for the $25,000 fee he’s contracted to be paid we see along the way as he follows this slave pipeline of misery that it changes him. There’s a thirst for justice and retribution that is reawakened in his spirit that has been dormant for too long.

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Vonetta McGee is deliciously wonderful and the conversation she has with Richard Roundtree about ritual tribal female clitoridectomy has to be seen to be believed. Modern day movies love to pride themselves on how mature and adult they are. But we’re talking about a movie made back in the 70’s where a black man and black woman talk freely about ritual tribal female clitoridectomy. I don’t remember a movie made in the last twenty five years (by white OR black filmmakers) that even approached such a subject.

It’s always fun to see Frank McRae in a movie and this is one of his early roles and he’s a lot a fun to see in anything he does.  And after the urban hellscapes of 1970’s New York in the first two “Shaft” movies, the clean wide open spaces of Africa and the international flavor of France gives SHAFT IN AFRICA a truly different look and feel. After the kinda so-so “Shaft’s Big Score!” SHAFT IN AFRICA is exactly what the series needed and I think that if the movie series had continued instead of going to TV, John Shaft would have grown into the sort of international action hero James Bond is. It’s a great movie and well worth your time seeing. Enjoy.

112 minutes

Rated R

TV A-Team Vs. Movie A-Team

Which one would you call if you have a problem and could find them?

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A TEAM MOVIE

 

 

Same Song Vs. Humpty Dance

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Shoot ‘Em Up

2007

New Line Cinema

Written and Directed by Michael Davis

Produced by Susan Montford and Don Murphy

I’m going to give you the best recommendation I can give you for SHOOT ‘EM UP and it comes from my wife Patricia.  We went to see this movie and I was fully prepared for her to hate it.  86 minutes later the credits are rolling and I asked her what she thought of it.

“I loved it.” Says she, taking me totally by surprise and yet again reminding me that I should never be so arrogant as to presume to predict what a woman will think.

“What did you like about it?” I ask.

Patricia smiles at me and says quite seriously: “I like a movie that gives you exactly what the title says it will give you.”

And she’s right on the money: SHOOT ‘EM UP is exactly that and nothing more: a series of gloriously over the top, spectacularly inventive and violent shootouts that is hung on a plot so bizarre and outrageous that it leaves you with only two options: sit back and have a good time or just eject the DVD and watch  another movie.  Really.  SHOOT ‘EM UP is just that kind of movie.  It makes no apologies for what it is.  You either just have to go along or go home.

Mr. Smith (Clive Owen) is sitting on a bench waiting for a bus, eating raw carrots when a bleeding pregnant woman runs past him.  Five seconds later a bunch of guys with guns in a car screech past him, waving guns out of the windows and following the pregnant woman.  On an impulse, Mr. Smith follows and in a devastating gun battle wipes out the guys in the car and delivers the baby, severing the umbilical cord by firing a bullet through it.  The mother catches a round through the forehead and Mr. Smith goes on the run with the child.  He’s being pursued by Mr. Hertz (Paul Giamatti) a former FBI forensic profiler gone bad who now leads a team of badass gunslingers whose only job is to recover the child Mr. Smith is now caring for.

Mr. Smith enlists the aid of Donna Quintano (Monica Belluci) a prostitute whose specialty really comes in handy: you see, she fulfills men who have breast feeding fantasies.  So Mr. Smith offers her $5000 dollars to breast feed the baby while he goes about the business of annihilating the army of killers Mr. Hertz sends after him and maybe while he’s doing that he can find out why everybody seems intent on killing this baby.

If I told you that Mr. Smith eventually learns that the baby is tied into a dying Presidential candidate whose life can be saved only by the bone marrow of infants and his campaign is being bankrolled by a arms merchant you’d call me crazy. But it is what it is.  SHOOT ‘EM UP is the kind of movie that John Woo used to make before Hollywood destroyed his talent.  It’s a ‘movie’ movie if you know what I mean.  It makes no pretensions at being realistic.  It throws the most improbable characters, situations and plot twists at you and you either say; “What the hell, I’m having fun” or you say ‘Screw it.”  You kinda get what writer/director Michael Davis is going for in the first confrontation between Mr. Smith and Mr. Hertz when they’re pointing guns at each other while Mr. Smith, who is chewing a carrot says; “What’s up, Doc?” and Mr. Hertz responds with: “You wascilly wabbit, you” Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti are playing live action versions of Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd who are really trying to kill each other with no bullshit.

Clive Owen is one of my favorite actors and he is obviously having a fun time playing the stone-faced hero who can escape from any situation and who handles a pair of 9mm Berettas almost as good as Chow Yun Fat.  He and Monica Belluci make a great team as the dysfunctional surrogate parents of the child that they have inherited and there is something honestly redeeming about the way they determine to protect this child.  Paul Giamatti is the one actor who is having the best time in this movie.  It’s so unlike anything he’s ever played before and you can see it in his eyes how much he’s enjoying himself.  And yeah, Giamatti makes for one great bad guy.

And how about those gunfights?  Take it from me: every single gunfight in SHOOT ‘EM UP is good enough that any other director would have ended his movie with any of them.  But here, they come one right after another.  Just when I thought the one I just saw was so outrageous that it couldn’t be topped here comes another one that  not only thrilled me with the sheer energy and audacity of the choreography but made me giggle like a schoolgirl as well. The daddy of ‘em all has to be the gunfight that takes place between Mr. Smith and a dozen assassins who have all jumped out of a plane and are plummeting to the ground while blasting away at each other. It’s a sequence that absolutely has to be seen to be believed.

So should you see SHOOT ‘EM UP?  If you’re an action movie junkie like me, you probably already have.  SHOOT ‘EM UP doesn’t have a single realistic moment in the movie.  But I enjoyed the hell out of the fact that the actors and filmmakers were willing to throw everything out the window and just have a good time telling a really out there story and do it with incredible action and their collective tongues firmly in their cheeks.  SHOOT ‘EM UP gives you exactly what the title says it’ll give you and if you expect any more than that then you paid your money for the wrong movie.

86 minutes

Rated R for graphic violence and language.  And I mean it.  There’s an extraordinary amount of violence here as well as a pretty graphic torture scene near the end.  And don’t even get me started on the scene where Clive Owen and Monica Belluci are having sex and he has to fight off half a dozen guys trying to kill them and continue having sex with her. They tried to copy this scene in “Drive Angry” but trust me, SHOOT ‘EM UP does it way better.